Trouble Sleeping

     I have had trouble sleeping off and on much of my life. I can remember a routine I had when I was in high school. I would lay on my back a bit, then on my right side, then my left, and finally back to being on my back. I could then go to sleep.

     I have had trouble sleeping during times of stress. One of the worst periods started a little more than 2 years after my parents died. I was the executor for both estates during that 2 years, moved into a condo I bought, had to move out for 3 weeks while they retrofitted the state required sound proofing, then moved back in. This brought of trouble sleeping lasted months.
     I still have trouble, but not for as long periods of time or maybe not quite as frequently. I am still searching out reliable sleep aids. I stopped taking melatonin after I became dizzy from it when I laid down a couple of nights in a row. Some things work really well for awhile, then not so much. I wrote this poem during a bout of difficulty:

Trouble Sleeping

Trouble sleeping
comes to visit, makes
thoughts whirl
and dance in its arms.
It will not willingly
let go of its grasp.
I wish I could predict
its coming,
build a wall it
cannot climb;
still its chatter,
divert its attention
to somewhere else
or shut the curtains,
turn off the lights,
pin a note to the door
saying I’m not at home
when Trouble Sleeping
comes knocking.

Now I try to remember to meditate when my mind doesn't want to give up. I have at times ended up doing my accumulated physical therapy exercises when I've woken up at 2:30 and can't go back to sleep. I then try go into a meditative state. It can work if I just concentrate on not following those whirling thoughts. I envision finally being in a place where I go to sleep easily and sleep well every night. I can only hope it happens soon.

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The photos, in order, are by Sophie Dale, Marina Misar-Tummeltshammer, and Jonathan Fink. I found them on unsplash.com. 
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