Labels, Boxes

I recently had a conversation, well actually two conversations, with a neighbor about 2 other people living in our condominium complex. She used two sets of labels about these people in the first conversation. First Dumb and Dumber. Then Frick and Frack. I asked her, knowing that she professes to be a Buddhist and has a picture of the Dalai Lama in her home, "What would the Dalai Lama say?" Her response was that she isn't the Dalai Lama. I went on my way, and left to do what I was intending to do. When I came back and parked my car, she came over saying she had seen these 2 people walking around, again calling them by the one of the nicknames she had for them. I said something to the effect that she can think what she wants but please don't call them this around me. She told me to lighten up. I told her that I am trying to be enlightened. She said I might be, but I'm not light. Then she walked off. 

These conversations started me thinking about how we judge, label and box people away: sometimes because we disagree with someone, sometimes because of who or what they represent to us. Sometimes because of their gender, skin color, religion, or ethnicity. Sometimes we make assumptions about what someone else is feeling or thinking. What if were were to peel off the labels, open the boxes and see what is really there not just what we perceive is there?

I had an experience of feeling boxed in and labeled yesterday. I was listening to a webinar, had a thought in passing and typed a question into the chat room box because things seeming to slow down. There was a bit of an exchange. I decided to leave the webinar rather than feel I had to defend myself when the presenter said something to the effect that I should work with her or someone like her - despite my saying in the chat room that I was just curious and that it was just a passing thought. I went to a local park and reflected. I realized that she had made a judgement and labeled me based on an assumption she made from a question made in passing. I probably did not say in my comment up front that it was just a passing thought, and, by the time that I did, I don't think she could "hear" it.

If I don't like being boxed up and labeled, I should try my best not to do this to others. After all, assumptions just, as the old saying goes, makes an ass of you and me.