I still work on letting go of out dated thinking and ideas. I believe I have previously written about this idea in my head that I should be at my desk and working at 9:00 am, although I haven't had an office job for a number of years. I am trying to change my thinking to reinforce the idea that exercise and things such as this are part of my work. I need to take care of myself if I am going to have a healthy old age, surely not something I thought deeply about when I was in my twenties.
It would be nice if I could let go of these out dated ideas just as easily as letting sand sift through my fingers. But, it seems that I need to continue to work on this. One idea I've had for sometime is that I do my best work or work most easily in the morning. Yet, the past few days I have been exercising in the morning once I've done my morning stretches (have to keep the body going), meditation, and the like. So, not much working time in the morning. It is mid-afternoon as I type this post. I am working just fine and just as well as if it were morning. Lesson for me? Hmmm.
And, somewhere along the way, I developed a picture of myself as lazyish. I'm not sure if it was reaction to no longer being in the job at my toxic workplace. I hope that, by working when the muse shows up, that I can disabuse myself of this notion. Part of the issue may also be that I didn't create the work habits necessary to being a solo worker. Or, maybe it's just the idea that I have to be "doing" all the time--such an American thing I think. Maybe it's having a limited idea of what being productive, or what my life should look like now that I'm 68, or who knows what idea is lurking underneath things in my mind.
So, here I am still finding my way towards letting go of those "voices" in my head. Here's to the progress I've made.
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The first photograph is by Sagar Patil, the second by Mazhar Zandsalimi, and the third is by Jakob Owens. I found all three on unsplash.com
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