My Mother's Blue Jacket

I know that this isn't a great picture, but it is a picture of my mom's blue jacket. She wore this jacket for a number of years before she died. I was amazed that she seemed fine without a hat, gloves and no closure on the jacket no matter how cold it was. The opposite of me.
     I went back to Illinois at Thanksgiving the year both my parents died (7 & 1/2 days apart). My mom died about 40 minutes after I got to the nursing home. There were things to deal with: contacting the funeral home, letting my sisters and the family friend who had left just after I arrived, letting my dad know (who was in another room in the same nursing home).
     I eventually got to their apartment, exhausted and in deep grief (not knowing more grief was to come). I remember that one of the first things that I did was go to the coat closet and grab this jacket. It became my comfort object the whole time I was in Illinois. I had selfishly decided that neither of my sisters were going to have this jacket. 
     I still wear this jacket in chilly weather. But I think of my mother almost every times I see this jacket, even if I see it only in passing. The grief is clearly no longer as strong as it was almost 16 years ago. I do miss her and my dad almost every day though. 
     
Blue jacket be a 
Hug from beyond this life.
Comfort me, comfort me.

©2019 Kathryn L. Samuelson

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