Crossing the Line

I admit it. I crossed a bit of line this weekend. Some people I know made a decision some time ago that I felt could end badly. I managed to only suggest something that they could do to ameliorate things a tad if things went badly. Well, they followed through on their decision. And, they didn't do what I suggested. It went badly. But, the suggestion I made was not where I crossed the line. 

One of the two people involved wanted an opinion about something. This person started out with a statement "Since x" and I felt it necessary to say that x isn't true. Now this is not where I crossed the line as believing x might have led to these people doing something that they shouldn't. Where I crossed the line was saying a few more things. In my view true, but unnecessary to say. I forgot about that Buddhist precept about speaking only if true, necessary and kind. The first thing was true and necessary but kind I suppose as it would not be good for this person to be believing something that isn't true. 

I should have just walked up to that line or walked along that line, rather than crossing it with what I said. I did call the next day and apologize for crossing the line saying that it was because I was upset for them about the situation they find themselves in.  

I then started to think about two blogs that I have been reading. The two bloggers are friends. The husband of one is dying from 10 cancerous tumors in his brain. He chose to forgo treatment as the likelihood of success was very slim while the treatments were most likely to be debilitating and quite awful.

I have read some books that I could have suggested to both bloggers that would suggest some noninvasive treatments that might possibly have made a difference, but I chose not to. I think that a few years ago that I would have commented on both blogs listing the books I have read. But, I have "grown" enough that I didn't. 

I do remember receiving an email from someone I used to work with. We have stayed in touch from time to time. He had been treated successfully for prostate cancer. Now he has another cancer. This one can be managed for 3 or 4 years. I slipped and emailed back some suggestions of things he might want to consider although he hadn't asked me for ideas. I'm not surprised that he didn't reply.

I hope to become better at knowing when to stop myself from crossing that line.







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The first photograph is by Augustin Lautaro. The second is by Mahkeo. The third is by Atharva Tulsi. I found all three on unsplash.com 

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